Bar Exam Subjects As Thanksgiving Day Foods
Happy Thanksgiving!
What if bar exam subjects were foods during a Thanksgiving Day meal? What subject would be the turkey, and which subjects would be the side dishes?
Here’s my Thanksgiving Day take.
Civil Procedure: Roast Turkey
Let’s face it: Civil Procedure is the centerpiece of the bar exam, much like roast turkey is the centerpiece of a Thanksgiving Day meal. Whether you prefer baked ham or pork chops as the main course, a Thanksgiving Day meal wouldn’t be a Thanksgiving Day meal without turkey.
Similarly, the bar exam, particularly its essay portion, wouldn’t be the bar exam without Civil Procedure. After all, Civil Procedure is the most frequently tested essay subject on the Uniform Bar Exam, having appeared on almost 80% of the administrations since the first UBE in 2011.
Torts: Stuffing
Like a well-prepared stuffing dish, the topics tested in Torts on the bar exam can be quite diverse. Stuffing comes in many varieties. There’s cornbread stuffing, cranberry and pecan stuffing, sausage stuffing, wild rice stuffing, and apple and walnut stuffing (my favorite).
Torts on the bar exam covers intentional torts, negligence, strict liability, and other harms to a person’s relational interests with other people. This makes Torts one of the most diverse and complex subjects on the bar exam. There’s also another reason why I’ve identified Torts as the stuffing of the bar exam. When stuffing is placed inside a turkey or other poultry and not cooked separately, there’s a risk of Salmonella contamination. The interior of the poultry may not reach a safe temperature in all parts, allowing any Salmonella present in the stuffing to survive. In a February 2008 essay question on the Multistate Essay Examination, Torts appeared in one of the essay questions and, more specifically, Salmonella was a significant part of the test question.
Constitutional Law: Gravy
Just as gravy is often considered the central and binding element that ties together various dishes on a Thanksgiving Day plate, Constitutional Law is a central and binding subject in the legal field. It serves as the foundation for the entire legal system and the rights and protections it offers.
Take, for example, due process. Issues of due process on the bar exam is not just limited to Constitutional Law. It’s an important concept in Civil Procedure (e.g., personal jurisdiction), Criminal Law (e.g., “void-for-vagueness” doctrine), Criminal Procedure (e.g., exclusionary rule), Evidence (e.g., hearsay and other exclusionary rules), and Real Property (e.g., zoning issues)
Contracts: Mashed Potatoes
I consider Contracts the mashed potatoes of the Thanksgiving Day meal. Mashed potatoes are made from simple, basic ingredients like potatoes, butter, and sour cream. But even the simplest mashed potatoes can be surprisingly delicious by adding just a bit of garlic, bacon, cheese, herbs, or even truffle oil.
Contracts, too, begins with the basic elements, like offer, acceptance, and consideration. But Contracts questions on the bar exam can be surprisingly complex as each of the foundational concepts has lots of complicated rules and exceptions to turn the most seemingly innocent Contracts question into a series of complex issues.
Real Property: Brussels Sprouts
Brussels sprouts have a reputation for being a polarizing vegetable—some people love them, while others find them less appealing.
Similarly, Real Property on the bar exam may not be everyone’s favorite subject. It can be perceived as a challenging and complex topic that some students may find less enjoyable. Eventually, though, some people acquire a taste for brussels sprouts over time. Likewise, students studying Real Property on the bar exam may find that as they delve deeper into the subject and gain a better understanding, the subject matter becomes more manageable and even interesting.
If all else fails, add bacon to brussels sprouts and your study routine. Bacon makes everything more tolerable.
Criminal Law: Cranberry Sauce
The sweetness and tartness of cranberry sauce are what makes this dish a wonderful complement to the other dishes on the Thanksgiving Day table and provides a contrast of flavors. While some people prefer sweetness over tartness, or vice versa, I consider the best cranberry sauce as the one that meets both flavor profiles at the same time.
Similarly, most crimes require both actus reus and mens rea at the same time. Actus reus refers to the physical act or conduct that constitutes the criminal offense. To establish actus reus, there must be proof of a voluntary and unlawful act or omission. In some cases, the actus reus may involve a specific result or consequence (e.g., causing harm to another person). Mens rea refers to the defendant’s state of mind at the time of committing the act. Mens rea reflects the mental element of the crime and includes various levels of intent, ranging from intentional acts (where the individual purposely engages in the prohibited conduct) to negligent acts (where the individual acts recklessly or with criminal negligence). (Some offenses, known as strict liability offenses, do not require proof of mens rea.) The defendant must have had the intent necessary for the crime at the time he committed the act constituting the crime.
It’s simply a crime (metaphorically, of course) not to have cranberry sauce at a Thanksgiving Day meal.
Evidence: Bread
Bread complements the other dishes on the Thanksgiving Day table. But, really, bread is a just vehicle to sop up gravy and other food.
In the same way that bread absorbs the bits of food and wipes the plate clean, studying Evidence requires you to clear away irrelevant or less important details to focus on the key concepts and principles that are commonly tested on the exam. For Evidence essays, that’s hearsay, character evidence, relevancy, and privileges.
Criminal Procedure: Pumpkin Pie
I like to cook, and I hate to bake. The reason is quite simple. In cooking, my mistakes can sometimes be covered up. When it comes to baking, however, if I miss a step or use the wrong proportions, the result can be unsatisfactory or even inedible.
When it comes to Criminal Procedure, if law enforcement conducts a search improperly (not having a valid warrant or not conducting a valid warrantless search), the outcome (evidence seized) can be deemed inadmissible in court, much like a ruined pumpkin pie is not fit for a Thanksgiving Day meal.
